WELCOME TO THE MOST DRAMATIC BACHELOR RECAP EVER. But seriously, we are one episode in and it feels like the actual most dramatic season yet. The tears already?? Really ladies?? ALSO there will be spoilers so if you haven’t watched, read at your own discretion.
I started watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise/Bachelor Winter Games when I was in high school. My best friend and I would watch at her house and ooze over the beautiful men and women. This lead to me watching in college with basically anyone who was willing! Now I’m bringing my love to you all!! And this is gonna be real time and authentic commentary so if you don’t like it OH WELL IT IS MY OPINION. That’s aggressive but needed to put it out there.
So Peter Weber, otherwise known as Pilot Pete. What a cutie patootie. On Hannah’s season I rooted for him the entire time! You could imagine my disappointment after the windmill scenario when he left! How could Hannah do such a thing to a specimen like that?! HER LOSS….OR SOON TO BE GAIN? (SPOILER ALERT) He wants someone to be his best friend but put emphasis on that person having a kind, sweet heart. He said and I quote, “I’m opening my heart to this journey”
Okay cool we know what Peter is looking for so let’s get to the women BUT BEFORE THAT WHY THE HECK DID THEY ONLY INTRODUCE US TO LIKE FIVE OF THE GIRLS?! ARE THOSE THE FINAL FIVE? IDK I NEED AN ANSWER AND I’M SURE I’LL NEVER GET IT.
Up first: Alexa who is 27 and a caregiver. She says her career fulfills her both as a caregiver and a waxing studio owner. I think her famous line is “I wax vaginas for a living” Damn girl nothing like an aggressive tag line. We will see how far she goes. She seems just neutral in my opinion.
Next up, Hannah Ann who is 23 and is a model. Here’s the breakdown and recap of what she said night 1. “I’m just a normal girl” NO you’re not you’re a model. She is very close with her family. When she sat with Peter she gave him a painting followed by a make out sesh. At that point I thought she was going to get the first impression rose. I find her to be pushy though which isn’t always a great thing.
Then we have Tammy who is 24 and a realtor/house flipper. I think she is really bold especially when she said she was on the boys wrestling team in highs school. She also mentioned she enjoyed to travel which is a cop out because we get it, peter is a pilot you can travel blah blah blah. All night she played the TSA role and eventually kissed him.
Then we have Victoria Paul who is a 27 year old nurse. She told us about her family history and how she had to grow up fast. Night 1 she could already see herself falling for Peter and was overwhelmed with emotion. SHE ALSO MENTIONED SHE HAD NEVER GOTTEN FLOWERS BEFORE AND FOR SURE YOU ARE FIBBING. On the group date, when she had time with Peter he gave her flowers from the garden. I guess it’s sweet.
Okay I’ll be honest…this one is my favorite so far! Kelley, 27 who is an attorney and works with her family. She met Peter previously and took it as a sign to continue on with the show. THEN THAT NIGHT PETER SAID HE COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT HER OMG STOP I DEFINITELY THOUGHT SHE WOULD GET THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE.
Now we have Madison the 23 year old foster parent recruiter. She is very close with her dad as he was her basketball coach in high school when she won state champion. She would describe herself as a challenger. What I really liked about her on night 1 was that she asked very genuinely how he was feeling about everything. She went on the first one on one date to his parent’s vow renewal. I think she’ll go far.
Maurissa who is the 23 year old patient care coordinator who was also Miss Montana Teen USA. She has taken control of her life and is ready for love. I thought she was pretty cool but Peter did not. They even came up with a handshake.
So these were the girls that had larger bios so the rest are short bits of info I got from their small introductions.
Alayah is the 24 year old orthodontist assistant who’s family is super important to her. I thought it was adorable that her grandmother wrote Peter a letter.
Then we have Sydney who is 24 years old and a retail market manager. Her tag line: “Not every girl from Alabama makes bad decisions” I like that.
Sarah is the 24 year old medical radiographer. She walked over to him and said hubba hubba which made me laugh. She let us all know that she had butterflies who were going to come out of her body.
Then we have Lauren the 26 year old marketing executive. Her tag line was: “If it scares you, do it”
Oh here is a good one. Mykenna, the 22 year old fashion blog. She was the naughty one throwing mini paper airplanes at Peter and Natasha then continued to watch them make out.
Okay so Kelsey is 29 and I have no idea what her job is or if there is anything important I should know about her.
Eunice is 26 and the first flight attendant. She wore wings to “wing it” when she met Peter.
Flight attendant 2 is 26 year old Jade. And that is all I know about her lol
Flight attendant 3 is Megan who is 26. Again that is it.
Shiann is a 27 year old administrative assistant. I call her barf bag girl because that is what she brought with her when meeting Peter for the first time.
Courtney is a 26 year old cosmetologist. Yup that is all I got from her.
Kiarra is 23 and a nanny. She showed up in a suitcase which definitely made a statement.
Lexi is 26, a marketing director and showed up in a vintage red car. And that’s about it.
Deandra is 23, a home care coordinator, and showed up with windmill “wings” with the tag line: “Ready for round 5?”
Payton is 23 and a business developer.
Jasmine is 25 and a client representative.
Kylie is 26 and an entertainment associate. She met Peter with a sleeve of condoms.
Katrina with an unknown age does something in sports and showed up with a picture of a naked cat (use your imagination for the dirty word).
Victoria F is the 25 year old medical sales representative. Her tag line was: “There is only one thing that is dry is her humor” Honestly, I didn’t like her. I think she got drunk and started to cry. Peter also didn’t remember her when they first talked.
Jenna the 22 year old nursing student brought an emotional support cow and I just about died when the girls inside thought it was a pony lol
This was a fun one…Savannah is the 27 year old realtor who blindfolded Peter and kissed him right away!! Bold!
Alexa is the 27 year old aesthetician.
Avonlea is the 27 year old cattle rancher.
Natasha is the 31 year old event planner who believes being reserved and taking time to open up is best. That might be a little not great for such a rapid show. She was pretty ballsy when she said no to Mykenna trying to steal him.
TO END THE GIRLS…Hannah B came out of the limo and gave him the wings badge back. Peter said that seeing her gave him hope that he can find love
Great. Now we kinda know some of the girls. Onto the rest of night 1. THESE GIRLS HAD THE BALLS TO ASK WHAT A FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE WAS!! LIKE THIS IS THE BACHELOR YOU BETTER KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!! That in itself is mind blowing.
Natasha and Mykenna got super catty with the different size paper planes being throw into each others conversations with Peter.
The entire night Hannah Ann couldn’t stop butting into other people’s conversations. And Shiann was not having it and confronted her which I thought was great UNTIL she started crying and ruined the moment.
Kiss count for night 1: 3- Hannah Ann, Tammy, and Mykenna
First impression rose: Hannah Ann which I knew because she was hella aggressive which if you want him you better go get him.
Rose Ceremony 1 in order: Victoria P, Madison, Kelley, Lexi, Savannah, Lauren, Tammy, Alayah, Jasmine, Sydney, Natasha, Mykenna, Diandra, Sarah, Alexa, Kelsey, Peyton, Kiara, Courtney, Shiann, and Victoria F.
Night 1 prediction for bottom 2: Kelley and Hannah Ann
Winner: Kelley
So thoughts after first day…as per usual people are super attached very quickly. The only one allowed to be attached is kelley because she met him before. everyone else needs to calm the heck down.
Peter and planes is like Michael and Navy Football. It is what makes their heart truly pitter patter. But dudes hello?? Cute girls right here
First Group Date: hannah ann, kelley, deandra, tammy, courtney, shiann, victoria p, jasmine, victoria f – look up OMG WHAT COULD IT MEAN?! guys he’s a pilot obviously it has to do with planes. They went through flight school and here is my commentary. It’s choppy but if you watched you’ll understand.
- -sportswear is a must lol
- -flight school 101
- -omg the math i can’t this is basic mth
- -OMG THIER ANSWERS TO THE MILE I CANT OMG OMG OMG
- -these are aggressive air terms
- -gyroscope PASS PLEASE ID DEF VOM
- -here comes the sob story, you’re motion sick it’s okay to just tell them why make it a big deal omg she actually vomitted
- -they def tried for like a charlie’s angels thing (peter’s angels)
- -dude this obstacle course actually looks hard
- -victoria is def gonna puke
- -kissed jasmine i think
- -this wind omg stop its too funny
- -great now someone “cheated” and it will be held against her for the rest of the season
- -kelley wins and shiann is crying tammy is pissed
- -NO KISSING AND FLYING THATS DANGEROUS
- -is this serious? like who cares you’ll get your time get over it
- -i love all of these secrets kelley has
- -victoria p looks like demi to me, omg i think he likes her, flowers and a kiss?!
- -oh snap kelley is gonna piss them more off by stealing here we go
- -dude tammy is annoying me why is she being alpha
- -the kiss between kelley and peter is actually adorable
- -group rose: kelley
- First Solo Date: Madison
- -i want to show you what forever looks like
- -that dress is amazing need it in my size plz
- -omg he took her to his parents house for a vow renewal
- -his family is adorable
- -everyone is crying i’m crying
- -i’mcalling staged on catching the bouquet
- -she must have had her teeth done before the show because she keeps touching them with her tongue
- -i think she is actually being very honest about wanting him to find love more than promoting herself i appreciate that
- -they kissed and she got a rose
- -there is always a singer and a dance moment (btw from hannah’s season the guy is now on the radio singing the song he sang on the show so don’t be surprised if you hear them on the radio in the next six months)
- -this looks like the party after the person wins the bachelor
- -i need to know why savannah is crying? because she isn’t enough? he doesn’t even know you?
- -i think his parents are going to be very involved in this process especially if its the first solo date and theyre here
- group date 2: lauren sydney peyton natasha alexa kelsey mykenna alayah savannah
- -hope this isn’t awkward
- -and here we have hannah b again
- -oh this is about to get real interesting
- -i don’t think they remember they’re on a show?? this is something that could happen
- -she is definitely coming back to the house. did she cry about mike when he started dating people? or tyler? why is it pete?
- -this is going to be the most dramatic season of the bachelor yet
- End of episode predictions:
- -she is definitely joining the group
- -everyone is going to hater her
- -lots of tears are coming
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK
XOXO,
Z
